Archive for the ‘Joke of the Day’ Category
Edumacation
Teacher: Now, you must not say, “I ain’t goin’.” You should say, “I am not going, he is not going; we are not going; they are not going.”
Student: Wow! Ain’t nobody goin’ then?
A lecture about English
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. “In English,” he said, “A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.”
A voice from the back of the room piped up, “Yeah, right.”
Engineers
There are four engineers traveling in a car; a mechanical engineer, a chemical engineer, an electrical engineer and a computer engineer. The car breaks down. “Sounds to me as if the pistons have seized. We’ll have to strip down the engine before we can get the car working again”, says the mechanical engineer. “Well”, says the chemical engineer, “it sounded to me as if the fuel might be contaminated. I think we should clear out the fuel system.” “I thought it might be a grounding problem”, says the electrical engineer, “or maybe a faulty plug lead.” They all turn to the computer engineer who has said nothing and say: “Well, what do you think?” “Ummm perhaps if we all get out of the car and get back in again?”
Bar Jokes 3
A string walked into a bar. The bartender told him “hey, we don’t serve strings here!” He walked out and thought about it a second. He tied a knot in himself and frayed the ends. He walked back into the bar, and the bartender asked him “Hey, aren’t you that string I threw out a second ago?” The string replied “No, I’m a frayed knot.”
I just knew I was in big trouble at work when
the new policy on sexual harassment included a photo of me.
Serial Killer
Q: Did you hear about the guy they found dead with his head in his cornflakes?
A: The police thought it was a cereal killer.
